The 'Golden Robes' Robe Awards
If you’ve ever watched television or seen a movie, you might’ve noticed something...occasionally one the characters will be wearing a robe. It happens more often than you think. It’s obvious that anyone wearing a robe on tv or in a movie looks fantastic. It’s even more obvious that there are certain characters who look even more fantastic than the rest. Today we’d like to honor some of those robe-wearers in our first ever Golden Robe Awards.
Let’s hand out some trophies...
Best Appearance in the Dairy Section
The Dude, The Big Lebowski
We honor The Dude for his nonchalance while shopping for heavy cream at his local Ralph’s. We only mention it because sometimes there's a man... we won't say a hero, 'cause, what's a hero? Sometimes, there's a man. And we’re talkin' about the Dude here - the Dude from Los Angeles.
Best Appearance during a Mother/Daughter Bonding Session
Emily and Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls
A spa day ends with Emily following Lorelai’s lead (where you lead, I will follow) and stealing robes from the spa. We don’t condone stealing, but if it’s going to bond you with your daughter for a whole episode and a half then it’s hard to find too much fault in it.
Side project: If you can find a Gilmore Girls reference (besides this one!) on our website, we’ll give you a $15 store credit for Highway-Robery.com. Email us if you find it.
Best Appearance in a Biblical Setting
Moses, The Ten Commandments
Little known fact, but “Thou shalt not be uncomfortable” was the eleventh commandment, but had to be left off because there was only room for ten on the tablets that Moses brought down from Mount Sinai.
Best Appearance while Playing Hooky from School
Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris wearing a robe at 31 Flavors last night. I guess he’s pretty comfortable.
Best Appearance by a Never-Nude
Tobias Funke, Arrested Development
If you’re gonna be a never-nude a robe is an absolute must, second only to a pair of cutoff denim shorts.
Best Appearance during an Overdose
Lance, Pulp Fiction
When Vincent Vega barges in with an OD’ing Mia Wallace in tow, Lance (the friendly neighborhood drug dealer) is only able to his cool thanks to his puke-green bathrobe. It just goes to show that no matter how ugly it is, you truly can’t help but feel at ease while wearing a robe.
Well that's all the time we have. Sorry the program ran long, but we'll see you next time.